I Wish I May
by takemetothebackseat
Summary: Wishes aren't suppose to come true. Did I even wish for this? Books are just fiction...right? *AU, things taken from both the books and movies. OFC/Jacob*
1. Chapter 1

I groaned, covering my head as the light clicked on and my bedroom was filled with light.

"Get up, Syd. You're going to be late to school."

My eyes widened in alarm. I threw the covers off just in time to see my bedroom door close. My dad moved out a long time ago. It's been just me and Mom for years. Yet this was my bedroom. My bed had the same neon green sheets I'd gone to sleep on. The knitting I'd been working on was tossed off the side of the bed like it was every morning. And my phone was on the nightstand.

My phone! I scrambled to pull the small lime contraption from its charger. I could call someone to save me. Pulling up the contacts list I froze.

Alice Cullen  
>Blacks<br>Brayden Johns  
>Clearwaters<br>Dad  
>Doc Cullen<br>Edward Cullen  
>Embry Call<br>Kelsey Mitchell  
>Mason Keller<br>Mike Newton  
>Mom<br>Phil Dwyer  
>Pizza<br>Po-Po  
>Quil Ateara<p>

I didn't even know who a few of those names were. "This is so not funny!" I yelled to whoever was there. "Who fucked with my phone?" I threw my door open to find a foreign hallway. Whatever was going on, someone had gotten pretty elaborate.

"Watch your language, young lady."

I fell backwards in to the wall as I was met with a face I knew all too well. "I think I might pass out," I heard myself whisper as my legs turned to jelly.

I woke again in my room, on my bed, but this time there was a cool cloth on my forehead.

"You freaked Dad out. He's downstairs on the phone with Carlisle. What happened anyway?"

My head turned slowly to see who was talking. Once again I was hit with that same recognition. This girl was exactly how I pictured Bella Swan in my head when I read the Twilight book. "I think I'm dead."

She chuckled. "That you are not, sister dear. But Carlisle will be here soon and he can tell you what's wrong."

"I assume your vampire boyfriend will be tagging along."

Bella sat up straight, eyes wide. "Edward's not a vampire."

"Tis. Around the one hundred and nine mark if I remember correctly. Entire family is. You want to be."

"How do you know all of this?" She sounded panicked.

"Because it's a book. And I'm either dead or this is some elaborate hoax, although not entirely possible since all of you look exactly how I'd imagined and no one else can get inside my head. Except Edward, but if that was a possibility then this would all have to be real…"

Footsteps could be heard outside the door and Bella turned to me. "Please don't say anything."

I shrugged. "I'm crazy one way or the other. But I won't say anything to Charlie."

The door swung open and Charlie Swan, Carlisle Cullen, and Edward Cullen filed through. "Good morning, Sydney. Your father tells me you took a tumble."

"That may be putting it mildly. I'm pretty sure at some point I hit my head." I had to have.

"I caught you before you hit the ground." Charlie sat on the opposite side of the bed the doctor was on. "Although all that yelling about someone messing with your phone was a little odd. Especially since you keep that thing locked all the time and no one else knows the password."

While I'd been talking Carlisle had been checking my heart rate and my temperature with an ear thermometer. "Everything seems fine as far as your vitals are concerned. Do you remember hitting your head within the last few days?"

I shook my head in the negative. Although if I had brain injury would explain a lot.

"Would you mind stepping out for a few moments?" He looked at Charlie and Bella. They both nodded and followed the silent Edward out of the room. "Sydney have you taken anything?"

"No. But I might as well tell you everything since Charlie is gone." So I did. I told him how last night I'd gone to bed in a different state, half way across the continent. That my name was Sydney Cayla Walker. And that everything that I knew about where I was and the people around me I'd read in a book. And that I knew he and his family were a clan of vegetarian vampires.

Carlisle listened calmly, nothing I said seemed to phase him. "Well you are correct, except for the book part. I'm pretty sure I'm not fictional character."

"Then why do I remember this other life and not much about this one?" I countered.

His eyebrow went up. "That is an excellent point. Do you remember your mother's phone number?" I nodded. "Why don't you call her?"

Honestly I was afraid to, but I picked up my phone and dialed from memory.

"Sweet Lou's Bakery, this is Jimmy."

"I'm sorry I must have the wrong number."

"No problem, doll." The line went dead.

I dialed her mobile number, her work, and every other number I could think of. None of them were the people I was trying to reach. I looked up at the blonde vampire, blinking through tears.

Carlisle gently squeezed my arm, his hand cold against my skin. "I'm going to write you a prescription, Sydney."

I shook my head. "I don't want to forget."

He stopped, script pad in hand. "Fine, but you have my number. If you feel dizzy, or lose time I want you to call me."

With a sigh I nodded. "Am I crazy?"

It looked like he was thinking of a polite answer. "I hope not. You don't remember your part in any of what's happened the last few months?"

"None of it. Everything I remember is from Bella's point of view."

Carlisle nodded. "I'm going to suggest you stay home today. Go through your scrapbooks and old journals, see if that helps any."

My eyebrow furrowed. "How do you know about those?"

"I have seen you work on those scrapbooks for hours when I've had to come by the station and you didn't want to be home alone when it was dark." That part was true. I hated to be alone after the sun fell. And I worked on scrapbooks continuously. "Get some rest, Sydney."


	2. Chapter 2

My stressed mind returned to sleep quickly. The dreams I had were some of the most vivid I'd ever experience, it was almost like watching a movie. Scenes of playing with Native American kids when I was younger, different scenes that were of my spending time with Bella as a child. Then the memories of her stopped for a long time and it was just me, Charlie, and people from the reservation.

My phone startled me out of sleep with a growl of electric guitar. I didn't bother to check the caller ID. "Hello?"

"Syd?" That was a voice I knew, a voice that warmed my insides. Jacob Black, my best friend. "Dad said you're sick."

"I think 'crazy' is a better word for it. I don't know what's wrong with me."

"I'm on my way over."

I looked down at my screen to confirm that he'd just hung up on me. I hate when people do that. Rolling my eyes I settled back in to my covers.

A warm body sliding in next to me was a much nicer wake up call then my screaming phone or blinding light. When that warm body smelled of forest and spice it was even better.

"What's wrong, Syd?"

I cuddled against Jacob. "When I woke up this morning it was as if everything was…off. I couldn't remember things right. I was convinced everything was from a book and I was someone else."

"I've known you your entire life Sydney Cayla Swan, and I can guarantee you that you are who I know you are. Down to the number of freckles across your nose."

I cracked an eye open to look at him. "That's creepy."

"So I exaggerate, but I know you. Whatever happened this morning must have been the cause of some dream. But you have to admit I know just about everything about you. You're my best friend, Sydney. You've been my best friend since before I could speak. If I'm sure of nothing else in the world I'm sure of that."

"Then what about all these other things I remember?" I whispered.

Jacob kissed my forehead. "I don't know. Maybe it was a really convincing dream...or maybe you really are crazy. Whatever happens, I'm here."

"Thanks, Jake." I rolled away from him to answer my once again ringing phone, this time it was an Elvis song. I knew it was Charlie without looking. "Hi."

"How are you feeling?" Charlie asked with what sounded like a full mouth.

"Better." I could picture him with a sandwich in one hand and his phone in the other. "Thanks for sending Jake over."

Charlie grunted. "I did no such thing. I just happened to tell his father. Don't get use to it, kid, you're going to school tomorrow. I have to go back to work. Don't let Jake eat all our food."

I laughed. "Bye Dad."

Jake put a chin on my shoulder and an arm around my waist. "Wanna go kill some zombies?"

"Hell yes!"

We raced downstairs and I would have won had Jacob not cheated and picked me up, spinning me away from the couch. I pouted the entire time it took me to put Left 4 Dead in and grab two wireless controllers. The pout continued as I plopped down next to him.

He bumped my shoulder with his. "You know I hate when you do that."

I forced my eyes to get watery, it was a useful skill. "When I do what?"

A groan as Jake turned his head away. "You know what."

My sniff had him looking my way again. I let my lip tremble as I turned my head. Next thing I knew I was stretched over the arm of the couch, both wrists pinned above my head by one of his hands while the other tickled my sides.

"You can't pout while you're laughing!" Jake yelled above my shrieks.

I did my best to get a knee between us, but somehow he ended up sitting on my thighs, still attacking my sides.

"Stop! Stop! I give up!" I panted between laughs.

Jacob beamed down at me, breathing just as heavy.

The front door creaked open and both of us turned to see who'd just walked in. Bella had an eyebrow raised. Edward looked like he was trying to hide a smile. This had to look bad. The vampire caught my eye and nodded almost imperceptibly.

"Wanna play Left 4 Dead with us? You get to fight off hoards of the undead." I knew they'd say no, but I offered anyway. One day they could say yes.

"Not today," Bella set her bag down. "We have a test to study for so we'll be upstairs."

I winked at her. "Have fun." Turning my attention back to Jake, who was still on top of me, I found him glaring at Edward. "They're going to go make out. I know you've got a chubby for my sister, but he's not that bad. And, as harsh as this sounds, she won't leave him for you."

Jake looked down at me, sifting his grip on my wrists. "Yes, he is. And no I don't."

A smirk formed on my lips. "Sure ya don't, buddy."

"I will admit I use to have a crush on your sister, but I'm past it."

I felt my eyebrow lift.

"Really, I have moved on."

"Yeah whatever." I rolled my eyes. "Are we going to play the game or not?"

He smirked. "I'm quite comfortable like this actually."

"Then could you at least take care of the itch on the left side of my ribcage?"

Jacob obliged, I was terrified he'd start tickling me again, but he behaved.

We'd been playing the game for a few hours when my phone's alarm went off. Jake saved our game while I moved to the kitchen to start dinner. We hadn't had it in a while, and I was craving, so I made my version of fried chicken. It was baked, but I never told Charlie that.

I started on the batter, Jake kept me entertained with a story about Quil attempting to ask some girl on a date. It was wrong to laugh at his expense, this I knew, but he made it so easy. And he makes fun of me all the time. Fair trade.

"Why are you making so much? Is Cullen staying?" he nodded towards the extra breasts I was putting on the baking sheet.

"I always make more so Dad and I can take some for lunch the next day. And the rest is for you and your dad."

Jake's grin was huge. "you're the best, Syd." He kissed the crown of my head and squeezed me from behind in a hug.

Baked fried chicken macaroni and cheese, lima beans, and biscuits rounded out dinner – with enough left overs already packed for lunches and Jake to take home. The table was set, all we needed was for Charlie to come home.

"Yo, B!" I yelled towards the ceiling. "Dad will be home in five. If you want him to believe you're legit studying you might want to come downstairs. And open a book!"

Jake cackled next to me, chewing on a biscuit.

_I'll make sure Jacob keeps his trap shut_, I thought towards the vampire who was following my sister down the stairs. "Edward, will you be joining us for dinner?" I asked aloud, knowing the answer already.

"No thank you, Sydney. Although I appreciate the offer. My father requested you come by the house tomorrow after school so he can make sure you're doing okay." Edward's voice was soft and he stayed out of the kitchen.

"No-"

"Of course," I cut Jake off. "I do have a few questions for him." _And you._

Edward nodded. "We'll look forward to your visit." Bella walked him out to his overpriced car.

"You can't be serious," Jacob's brown eyes were narrowed, a sign he wasn't happy. "Don't go over there, Sydney."

"Don't tell me what to do. The Cullens are good people, they won't hurt me," I yelled back. I hate when people tell me what to do.

"What's all this yelling about?" Charlie asked as he walked in.

My eyes held Jake's for a moment before I sighed. "Nothing, Dad. He's just being annoyingly over protective. Go upstairs and change Dinner is on the table.

He paused between the door and the stairs. "I'll make it quick so dinner doesn't get cold." I had the feeling he was going to say something else, but changed his mind.

I tracked his footsteps above my head as I pulled a beer from the fridge. Placing it on the table in Dad's usual spot I knocked on the window. _Tell her it's time for dinner._ I could get use to this knowing Edward could hear my thoughts thing. Only knowing he could hear even what wasn't directed at him still unnerved me.

After dinner Bella left for the Cullens'. Jake headed home. Dad plopped down in front of the TV. And I went upstairs to work on a custom jewelry order I'd received.

I turned my iPod on shuffle, volume low so I could hear if Dad yelled, and set to work.


	3. Chapter 3

My alarm woke me the next morning. I'd been having a strange dream, but the only thing I remember was the color white. I didn't have time to dwell, my phone chirped, reminding me that it was Bella's birthday.

I grabbed the box off my work table and made my way to her room in time to see Dad walk out. He was chuckling. I plopped down on her bed while she searched the top of her head in the mirror. "Something wrong?"

Bella glanced over her shoulder at me. "No." My older sister sat down next to me.

"Happy birthday," I smiled, handing over the box.

She smiled as she pulled out the premade scrapbook pages. "Did everyone coordinate?"

I laughed. "All Mom's doing. All you have to do is add pictures. I even made a few for your birthday pictures."

"I don't want to have a birthday," Bella whispered.

"Well you are. So smile and thank Dad." I didn't want to hear her whine about aging because Edward wouldn't. I went back to my room to get ready for the day.

I could have ridden with Bella, but I took my car instead since she has horrible taste in music. Dad gave her a car. I had to work my ass off and save for mine. But I wouldn't trade, I love my lime sixty-seven Impala. Even if Jake says it's like being in a booger. I shoveled snow and mowed grass for two years on top of my jewelry and clothing design sales to get that car.

We arrived at the same time. I parked over by my friends, she parked by hers. I do love my sister, but we've never been close.

My crew isn't that large, but we make up for it in personality. Dad says we're "artistic" and I guess that's true. Although I think when he says it he means that we dress funny…and we do.

"Your boy is here." Kelsey motioned with her chin over my shoulder. "Has he been working out?"

I found Jake easily. He flashed me a smile and motioned for me to wait as he walked up to Bella and Edward. Jacob handed her a dream catcher before weaving his way between cars to me.

"How are you feeling this morning?" he gave me a hug and left an arm around my waist.

I shrugged. "Normal. But I'm still going to see Doc Cullen after school. Meet me after?"

Jake nodded. "Always." He kissed my cheek. "Be careful, Syd."

My eyes rolled as he walked away. The protectiveness was getting old.

I parked the Impala in front of the Cullen's impressive glass house as Mrs. Cullen stepped outside. The sun kissed her skin and I couldn't help but grin as it shimmered.

"Hello, Sydney, how are you feeling?" Her smile was warm. I could see why the Cullen kids had adopted her as their mother.

"So far so good," I shrugged.

Esme put her arm around my shoulders and led me up the front steps. "I must admit it is strange that you know all these things, but I'm glad Bella has someone who understands. Someone she can talk to."

"We don't talk all that much, even now that I know." I thought it didn't bother me, but my voice told a different story.

Alice appeared suddenly and took my hand. "Stay for Bella's party."

Party? "I didn't know she was having one, but okay."

She rewarded me with a blinding smile. "Great! I'll find you something to wear." And as quick as she appeared, Alice was gone again. I guess since I knew they didn't have to play human around me.

Esme walked with me to Carlisle's office and asked if I wanted her to stay. I told her if it made her feel better she was more than welcome, but that I would be okay. The doctor checked my vitals and had me run through the last two days to make sure there weren't any more holes. I'd remembered more things about my life, but most of my memories were still from Bella's point of view. And in those memories she was an only child. I knew a few other things that weren't from my sister's memory that I told him about, pieces of the vampires' pasts.

Carlisle listened patiently, asking questions here and there. I was worried the things I knew about his family would make him angry, but he only seemed intrigued.

We lost track of time and when I glanced outside I saw that the sky was beginning to darken. It was then that I realized I was hungry.

Alice sat down in the chair next to me and handed me a bowl of apple slices and grapes. "Time to get ready. Eat as we walk."

I shrugged at an amused looking Carlisle and followed the pixie looking girl out of his office. I likes being around Alice for a few reasons: she was usually positive, always had constructive input for my designs, and she was shorter than me. Being only five foot two inches it didn't happen often.

The amber eyed girl led me to her room where a navy swing style dress and red platform pumps were laid out on the bed. I squealed, throwing my arms around her.

Taking my empty bowl, Alice laughed. "I knew you'd love it. Get dressed and I'll touch up your makeup."

I did as told quickly, too excited to take my time. About the time we finished I heard Bella's pick-up park in front of the house, wheezing to a stop.

Taking my hand Alice danced us out of the room. We laughed as we twirled down the stairs. Although she didn't look too happy about it, I grabbed Rosalie and pulled her along with us. She was smiling by the time we got to the room Alice had decorated for my sister's unwanted birthday party.

Rosalie's smile dropped as soon as Bella and Edward entered the room. I don't' know why, but I reached over and squeezed her hand. The blonde gave a soft squeeze in return.

I watched my sister open her gifts. A necklace from Rose. An empty car stereo box from Emmett. When she got a paper cut on the envelope that held Carlisle and Esme's gift I thought nothing of it. Until Edward jumped in front of her and Jasper began to charge.

Bella was suddenly flying in to the wall across the room, shattering the glass on the table. I screamed and ran to my older sister, pushing through snarling male vampires as I went.

Arms grabbed me before I could reach her. I struggled, clawing at unyielding skin. "Stop, Sydney," Rose whispered harshly in my ear. "There's glass everywhere. Be careful."

I was put back on my feet and delicately stepped through the shards to Bella. My heels crunched through the glass, but I made it to her side unscathed up til the point where I crouched down beside her. I slipped and caught my balance by putting my hand on the floor. Looks like Carlisle would be patching up two of us.

For the second time that day I found myself in Doc's office. He picked the glass out of my hand and Bella's arm while Edward stood off to the side, fuming. For once I wish I could see in his head.

"You don't," I heard him murmur. Aloud he said, "I'll drive you both home."

"I'm going over to Jake's. Take Bella home. I'm going upstairs to change." I thanked the doctor and took my leave.

Alice was chewing on her lip. I'd never seen any of the vampires show any sort of nerves before.

"What's wrong?" I sat on the bed next to her.

She held out an envelope to me. "Promise me you won't read it until tomorrow night. Promise me, Sydney."

After a moment of hesitation I nodded. I folded the white rectangle and put it in my back pocket.

Alice perked up quickly and smiled. "Go see your boyfriend, Syd."

"He's not my boyfriend," I replied with an eye roll as I walked out her bedroom door.


	4. Chapter 4

thank you for the reviews: ariel oceans, suzie1107, and trixie1990! sorry it took me so long to get the next chapter up, wouldn't let me get to the Doc Manager.

Jacob met me in the driveway. He almost looked relieved. His teeth seemed to glow in the dark behind his smile as he jogged over. However, as soon as he saw my bandaged hand, that smile disappeared. "What happened?"

I shook my head. "Bella broke some glass, no big deal."

"How did Bella breaking a glass get you injured?" He gently took my hand and smoothed his larger, brown hand over the binding.

"Bells broke some glass by falling in to it. When I tried to help her up I put my hand down for balance without thinking. Ergo, glass in my hand."

Jake brought my hand to his lips and left a soft kiss. "Come inside, I want to make sure you're alright."

I let him lead me through the front door. "Carlisle cleaned and bandaged it. Doc knows what he's doing. Hi Billy." Smiling at him I closed the front door.

"Hi Syd. Why were you in need of medical attention?" Billy had a grin in his voice, if not on his lips. "You hungry?"

"Not really, I ate at the Cullens'. And I accidently put my hand on some glass over there. Jake is just being over protective. Again."

Jacob's arms were crossed over his broad chest. "What if he didn't get all the glass out?"

I sighed. "He was thorough, but if it'll make you feel better." I held my hand out for him.

"Thank you." He tugged me towards the lamp. With more careful hands than he's every used before, Jake peeled off the tape and gauze. After an inspection I could hardly feel he reapplied the dressing. "Does it hurt?"

"A little. Doc put some spray stuff on it to help kill any bacteria, it's more annoying that anything."

He let his forehead fall to mine. "I worry about you, Sydney." Jake's eyes were closed, his hands slowly rubbing my upper arms. Breath minty like he's recently brushed his teeth.

I licked my lips and took a shaky breath. "I'm okay, Jake. I'm tougher than I look."

Jake's lips broke in to a full smile and he stepped back. "I know."

None of the Cullens were at school the next day. It wasn't sunny enough to make them glitter, so I didn't get it. My sister, as always, seemed lost without Edward around. It had Angela and Mike shooting me worried glances.

After school I went over to Kelsey's to do a final fitting for the dress I was making her for her birthday. I ended up not getting home until Dad's cruiser was pulling in the drive.

He waited until I got out of my car. "You're home late. I thought you weren't going to be at Kelsey's long." Dad slung an arm around my shoulders as we walked up the front path.

"Decided to do my homework while I was over there. Kel's better at calculus than me."

The front door was locked, which was unusual, but I didn't think anything of it until Dad yelled out to Bella and she didn't answer. Still not really a problem. She had the habit of going over to Edward's after school.

"Call Alice to see if she's over there and if she's coming home for dinner. I'll order us a pizza." Dad headed for the pone in the kitchen.

I scrolled through my phone and selected Alice. "The number you have dialed is no longer in service." Eyebrow raised I tried Edward's number and got the same message. Did the millionaire vampires forget to pay their bill? Starting to worry, I called their house. As it rang I called for Dad.

"What's wrong?" he had the same wide eyes look I knew I did.

"Their cells are disconnected and no one's answering at the house." My voice shook halfway through.

Dad help up a note. "Bells went for a walk in the woods. She should be back by now. Your sister probably got lost again. I told you girls not to go out there by yourselves, we're still having problems with those damn bears. I'll call a few people to help us look. We'll worry about the Cullens after we find your sister."

"Hello?" Jake's voice in my ear made me jump.

"I need you." The words were out before I could even think. Hell, I didn't even realize I'd called.

"We're on our way." The line went dead.

"Jake and Billy are coming," I yelled as I started pulling out flashlights and lanterns.

Dad's boot stopped just outside the closet I was digging through. "Good. We'll need someone to stay at the house in case she comes back. Grab a walkie. I have a map of the area. We'll work in a grid formation."

We moved to the yard, using Dad's patrol car as a table top for the map. About that time people started showing up. Harry Clearwater along with Sam Uley were the first to reach us, closely followed by a few guys from the station. They started talking about strategy, and a few moments later the first wave went in to the shadowed forest. The echoes of my sisters name sounded like ghost.

"Sydney!" My head jerked up to find Jake running towards me. Some of the weight on my chest alleviated as his arms wrapped around me. "What's wrong?" His eyes searched my face.

"Bella's missing. She left a note about going in to the woods, but she knows Dad said we have to be out by dark. Something wrong, Jake. I can feel it in my gut."

Jake closed his brown eyes for a moment. "We'll find her." He kissed my forehead and led me by the hand back to Dad's cruiser where I was informed that I wasn't going to be part of the search team.

I, naturally, exploded. "I know those fucking woods better than anybody here! How can you tell me I can't go help look for my own sister?"

"I can't have you both in there," Dad sounded calm, but with me it meant he was close to boiling point.

"You have to let me help," I forced my voice to mimic his calm tones.

"Syd-"

"I've got her," Sam yelled from behind us.


	5. Chapter 5

Bella woke us every night with screams that could wake the dead. During the day she was practically a zombie. Minus the craving for brains. I tried to get her to talk about it every day, but after a week I was ready to give up. I kept to my room for the most part and concentrated on my jewelry and clothes making.

"Syd." Dad stopped in my doorway. At my nod he sat on the edge of my bed. I continued sorting my dirty laundry into piles, waiting for him to say something. "I don't know what to do."

I plopped down next to him, bouncing slightly. "Me either. I've tried talking to her, distraction her. Hell, I've screamed at her. She just stares like some life like doll with empty glass eyes. It's kinda creepy."

"Any luck finding the Cullens?"

"None. I've tried every number, every email. Scouted the house and garage. I even checked the land for fresh tire tracks and foot prints. Nothing."

"He did this to her," Dad's voice was a growl.

"I know."

His head was in his hands. "Maybe if she got out of Forks."

I stopped kicking at the pair of jeans by my foot. "You mean send her to Mom." It wasn't a question.

Dad sighed. "I don't know what else to do. Renee thinks it could help. We'll giver her a little more time, but this can't go on much longer." He bumped my shoulder with her. "We'll figure it out, Syd."

He took his leave and I went back to my dirty laundry. Grabbing the jeans I'd been kicking, they crinkled when I picked them up. I'd completely forgotten about the letter from Alice.

_Sydney,  
>Please don't think too poorly of us. Edward feels this is what's best for Bella…and you. There will be no way to contact us. We're not coming back. Eventually Bella will be okay.<br>Alice._

I took a deep breath, trying to keep myself from screaming. Down the stairs and through the front door I went, grabbing my keys and yelling to tell Dad I was going to Jake's.

Had I not been my father's daughter I probably would have gotten pulled over. The Impala was pushing eighty my entire drive to La Push.

Billy was on the front porch when I pulled up. "How's she doing?"

"Let's just say if they ever come back, I'm going to kill her." My voice was growly.

He just nodded. "Jake's still asleep. You're welcome to go wake him up or head for the garage."

I glanced between the two buildings. "I need him to hold the bag," I sighed. "Waking up Jake is never fun."

Billy chuckled. "He's nicer to you than anyone else, Syd. I'll be at the Clearwaters' if you need me."

"Want a ride?" it was uphill most of the way.

"I'm good. Harry's gonna meet me." He said his goodbyes and headed for the road.

And I made my way inside. Jacob Black isn't the most friendly of beast in the morning. Before noon on a Saturday was worse. It was barely past nine. I was going to have a serious battle on my hands. I was in the mood for a fight. Hopefully I wouldn't take it out on my best friend.

Making as much noise as possible I made my way to Jake's over glorified closet of a bedroom. It made no difference. He was passed out, one arm thrown above his head. When we were little we'd both sleep in that bed, now his feet hung off the end. When did Jake get so damn tall?

I hitched up my yoga pants and sat on his stomach, putting what weight I could on his arms in case he woke up swinging. "Wake up, Jakey."

He mumbled something in his sleep and shifted under me. One of those mumbles sounded oddly like my name.

"Come on, Jake. Wake up. I need to blow off some steam." I bounced a little on his stomach, not enough to hurt him.

That time he definitely said my name. Jake's hips moved under me, but he stayed asleep.

I bent my head down, putting my forehead on his. "Come on, Jake. I need you to wake up. Please, Jake."

Next thing I knew Jake's arms were around me and we were on our sides. "You really need to rethink your methods of waking a guy up. Someone could get the wrong idea."

"What else was I supposed to do? You take up the entire bed."

His eyes closed, arms tightening. "We fit just fine right now."

I had to admit he was right. And he was so warm compared to the cold drizzle outside. It was relaxing, peaceful.

"Do you believe me when I say I don' t have a crush on your sister anymore?"

"Aye."

"Good."

Shifting I put my head on his shoulder. "Why?"

Those brown eyes were still closed, but there was a furrow between his brows. "I need you to know I'm not thinking of her when I do this."

"When you do wha-" the words passing my lips were stopped by his. I froze, eyes going wide. He let me move away. "What are you doing?"

"I thought it was obvious," Jake whispered. "I…I haven't thought you of as just my best friend for a while."

My eyebrow went up. "Elaborate."

His explanation was to kiss me again, lips gentle but insistent. After a moment I gave in. Jake was a surprisingly good kisser. Why had we never done this before? His teeth nipped my bottom lip. I moaned. Jake took advantage by slipping his tongue in my mouth.

After a few minutes I pushed him back a few inches and looked down the line of our bodies, the back up at him. He had a sheepish smile on his face.

"It's your fault. You were the one moving against me. Are you okay with this?"

"With you popping a boner while we make out?"

Jake chuckled. "You know what I mean, Syd."

Was I? What if the boyfriend/girlfriend thing didn't work out? "Promise we'll still be best friends."

He kissed my forehead. "Always."

I kissed him softly with the intention of getting up and going out to the garage, but Jake had other ideas.

Within a matter of minutes I was moaning in his mouth again, trying to keep my hips still. I could feel the heat of Jake's hand on my thigh, through the thin material of my pants. That hand hooked behind my knee and pulled it up over his hip.

"Jake stop." I took a deep, calming breath. "Too fast. Go take a cold shower and I'll meet you in the garage." Pecking his lips I climbed over him and walked out of the room.

I climbed in to the front seat of the Rabbit. It smelled like Jacob and WD40. It was comforting. I put my feet on the dash and slouched down until my chin rested on my knees.

That was how Jake found me. "Wanna act like it didn't happen?"

"Uh, no. can we just take it slow? Maybe stay away from making out on beds for a while."

"Sydney…" he starred through the windowless windshield. "Are you still a virgin?"

"Yes." I didn't think it was a secret. "Dad's made it quite clear to every guy I've brought home that he would kill them if they touch me. Are you?"

Jake was quiet for a moment. "Yeah…for the most part."

"Most part?"

"I haven't had sex, but I have fooled around. You dad's never threatened me."

I smirked. "Dad doesn't know I think of you as a boy. We're going to keep it that way because if he ever learns the truth I'm not going to be able to come over whenever I want." I pulled his arm around me, trying to steal his warmth.

"Eventually one of our fathers will catch on. My dad already knows how I feel about you, has for a while. And no, I didn't tell him. The old man is very perceptive." He let his head rest of top of mine. "Syd, why did you come over so early?"


	6. Chapter 6

_thank you trixie1990 for sticking around for my almost year long laziness. promise it won't take me that long to update again for a while._

I chose to ignore Bella. I almost wanted her to go live with Mom. It'd be better than the zombie she'd become. Dad's shifts at the police station got longer and I spent more time out at the reservation with Jake, Embry, and Quil.

Things were changing between Jake and I, but it seemed to be for the better. Quil and Em noticed. It was hard not to. But after the initial teasing they acted like it was no big deal.

It was a Saturday morning. Jake and I were in the garage. He was working on the Rabbit and I was filling a few jewelry orders when it happened.

"Bella's here." The words were out of my mouth as soon as I heard her truck pull in the drive. "Why is Bella here?"

He ran for the door, I walked out just in time to see him scoop her up in a hug. Jake was allowed to be excited. Bella was his friend. I wasn't jealous. Yes, I was.

I kept to the doorway as I watched them talk. When Bella pulled a tarp off two motorcycles I got a little worried. When Jake pulled the bikes out of the truck and they started pushing them in my direction I got really worried. "What's going on?"

"We're gonna fix up some bikes, babe." Jake flashed me a toothy, childish grin.

"Babe?" Bella echoed.

"Don't tell Dad," I murmured as they passed. At her look I expanded my pervious statement. "You tell him about me and Jake and I tell him about your new interest in the mechanics of motorcycles."

Bella nodded. "Fine. You keep your mouth shut and I will too."

Thanks to those bikes I slowly got my sister back. She started talking again and eating. The screaming nightmare stopped. I didn't even mind her handing out at the garage with us all the time. Eventually I let Bella be around Jake without me around. Besides, I'd been neglecting the rest of my friends.

Brayden got word of an all-ages show in Port Angles, a few of the local bands we likes were on the bill. The plan was for the four of us to take my car and get some dinner before the show.

It was a Friday, and I was with a group, so Dad didn't mind my being out late. He even gave me a few twenties with a smile on his face.

"I'm so glad you came out with us." Kelsey slid her arm through mine as we walked down the sidewalk. The venue was only a few blocks from the restaurant where we parked the car, instead of moving it we decided to walk. It was a beautifully clear, rainless night.

Mason put my free hand in the crook of his elbow. "You were spending so much time at La Push we'd thought you'd forgotten about us."

I rolled my eyes at him. "I still saw you every day at school. I just had to get away from my sister. Well before she decided to come back to the land of the living. After it was nice to have her back."

"Either way, it's nice to see you outside of school." Brayden slung his arm around Kelsey's shoulders, our circuit complete.

A wolf whistle sounded from behind us. Over my shoulder I saw a few guys following us. From the way they were dressed I felt it was safe to assume they were headed to the show as well.

"Please tell me you're going to the show at Visions, and that you're not with him." The one who spoke had long, dark hair, black jeans and a black long sleeve tshirt. His pale skin seemed to glow under the street lights.

"She's not," Kels piped up, "but she is with me."

"That," he smiled, "I am perfectly fine with. Ladies, I am Christopher. And this is my band." He motioned to the guys behind him.

Hours later I found myself dancing with Christopher on a packed floor. He was a little handsy, but he didn't push any boundaries. My skirt was hitching up, but since the pink and black skirt only went a few inches past my butt to start with I wasn't surprised. I'd compromised by wearing pink thigh high socks, so I wasn't showing too much skin. Besides, I wore black ruffley panties for a reason.

Christopher was asking what our plans were after the show when his hands were suddenly gone from my hips.

I turned just in time to see him get punched in the face. By Jacob. Quil was with him. Embry had been running around with Sam and his cult for the last few weeks.

"Jake stop!" I screamed when he drew his fist back for another hit.

"He was all over you," he bellowed back. "I'm just supposed to let some guy grind all over my girlfriend?"

Security was heading our way. Rather than be removed, I walked outside. The bouncers pushed Jake our behind me. Quil, Brayden, Mason, and Kelsey followed.

"We were just dancing." I crossed my arms over my chest. I'd forgotten how jealous guys got. It was easier before because they were always jealous of Jake.

"Dancing?! Christ, Sydney, you were practically fucking him in a crow of people! Maybe if you weren't dressed so slutty."

A gasp sounded from Kelsey and my jaw dropped.

I help up a hand when I saw Mase open his mouth to speak. "Quil, take him home."

"Where do you think you're going?" Jake stepped in my path.

I glared up at him. "I'm going back inside to make sure the guy you punches is okay, then apologize for my lunatic ex." I stomped past him, my boots making the sound more satisfying.

It was easy to find Christopher. He was surrounded by girls, one of them was blotting at his bleeding lip with a paper towel. I got a clean bar rag and a cup of ice from the non-alcohol serving bartender before pushing my way through the girls.

Christopher raised an eyebrows as I knocked the girl with the napkin's hand away. "You alright?"

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" I wrapped a few ice cubes in the cloth before handing it to him. "You're starting to clot. Try not to stretch you lip, the ice will help with the swelling."

He nodded his thanks and followed my instructions. "Your boyfriend usually get jealous like that?"

I let out a sigh. "Wouldn't know. We've only been dating for a few months. Before that he was my best friend."

"That's why my girlfriend doesn't come to shows. She knows I won't do anything but she doesn't trust other girls. Take my advice for what it's worth, but call him tomorrow. After he cools off he's going to feel like a jerk."

I decided to take his advice. The rest of the show was spent towards the back of the crowd with Christopher. It was a good thing his band had been on second.


	7. Chapter 7

At breakfast I told Dad what had happened. I didn't want him to have to hear it from Billy. Although Dad wasn't thrilled that I'd been dancing with a guy he agreed Jacob had overreacted.

"Why didn't Jake just ride with the rest of you?" Dad asked around a bite of toast.

I took a sip of my tea. "He said he didn't want to go. Jake told me to go out my friends since I'd been spending so much time with him."

"Syd, I know you and Jake are dating."

I choked on my tea. "How?"

Dad chuckled. "I'm no blind, Sydney."

My head fell to the table with a thud. "I was hoping you were."

"Billy and I always figured you would. When you were babies Sarah, Jake's mom, predicted you'd get married."

"If he keeps acting like he did last night I don't even want to date him anymore. He doesn't trust me, so what's the point?"

Before Dad could give me an answer Bella plopped down at the table. "Jacob's got mono."

"No, he doesn't," I mumbled under my breath.

"Sydney and Jake had a fight," Dad elaborated.

My sister's eyebrows drew together. "Then why won't he talk to me?"

"Because he figures you'd take your sister's side." Dad stood and took his and my dished to the sink. "But if he really has mono then we should probably take you to the doctor, Sydney."

"Why would we take Syd to the doctor?" Bella isn't really that great of an actress.

"I imagine they've been kissing a lot lately."

A blush heated my face.

Her eyes went wide. "I didn't tell him."

"Nobody told me." Dad rolled his eyes as he took a sip of coffee. "Give him a few days."

That few days turned in to a week, then two. I called every day. At first Billy told me he was still sick. Eventually he stopped answering the phone at all.

I was tired of it. Dating and boyfriend/girlfriend stuff aside, I wanted my best friend back. And if Jacob didn't he at least could have the balls to say it to my face.

The sky was dumping buckets when I parked in the Black's driveway. My boots crunched in the gravel, my hoodie was soaked through by the time I made it to the door. I raised my hand to knock, but stopped when I heard the back door slam.

Running around the house I managed to catch Jake as he crossed the foot bridge over the creek that ran on their property. Despite the cold he was only wearing shorts and running shoes. And his long hair was cropped short.

"Jacob!" I watched his shoulder tense at my shout. So he was trying to avoid me.

"Go home, Sydney. You shouldn't be here."

"Because you're so sick, right? At least tell me why you won't talk to me. I deserve that much." My teeth were starting to chatter.

Jake turned slowly, but wouldn't look at me. "It's too dangerous. I'm not good."

"Jacob!" the call came from the wood where I could barely make out the dorm of Sam Uley and friends through the rain.

"Are you fucking kidding me!" I screamed. "What happened to all your ranting about Sam and his cult? And what the hell happened to your hair?"

"Sam's trying to help me. You wouldn't understand."

"Then explain it to me." My entire body was starting to shiver. I glared up at him, but he still wouldn't meet my eyes. "Fucking look at me!" my scream was raw.

The chocolate eyes I've been able to read my entire life were suddenly shuttered to me. Jake Dropped to his knees without breaking eye contact.

"Jake, come on," Sam bellowed again.

"Know what? You can just fucking so. I'm done." With a deep breath I turned on a boot heel and headed back to my car. I prided myself that I didn't stop of break down when Jake called out to me.

I managed to make it to the Clearwater house before the sobs started. Great wracking heaves that made me think I might get sick.

Sue met me at the door. "Sydney, what's wrong?"

"I need Leah." I tried to stop crying but it wasn't working. I couldn't even tell the difference between the rain and the damn ones falling from my eyes anymore.

Sue called from Leah as she helped me take off my hoodie and my shoes and socks. "Strip down in Leah's room and I'll bring you some dry clothes."

Without words Leah wrapped me up in a hug. She took me to her room, and after I changed, let me cry. Leah stayed quiet, streaking my hair away from my face. Growing up without my big sister around I'd replaced her with Leah.

"Talk to me, Syddie," she finally spoke when I'd calmed down enough to stop crying.

"Fucking Samn got his hooks in Jake." I knew if anyone could understand my hatred for Sam Uley it would be the girl curled up beside me. Sam and Leah had been practically engaged when he suddenly broke up with her and started dating her cousin Emily. I told her everything. How Jake had told me Sam had been watching him. How our relationship changed. The fight. The rain soaked scene.

After a few colorful insults I wasn't aware Leah knew she said something I _never_ thought I'd hear her say. "I'll talk to Sam."

"Oh, Leah, I didn't –'

She put a hand over my mouth. "I know. And it's not that I feel I owe you, but after everything you took Sam on like he was nothing more than a playground bully. I want to do that for you."

A knock sounded on the door and Harry poked his head in. "Syd, Jake called and wants to meet you at your house."

I nodded and thanked him. "You talking to Sam will be a last resort. There's no reason for both of us to be miserable."

Leah hugged me again and made me promise to call her.

Jake was sitting on the front steps when I got home. The rain had stopped. He stood to follow me inside and I slammed the door in his face before locking it and going upstairs.

I took a long, hot shower. The cold had seeped in to my bones and I knew it was the only way I'd warm up. Dad came home while I was drying my hair. After finding out the hard way that I blow dry my hair naked he's never come in to my room while I am since.

Curling back in the position I'd been in on Leah's bed I pulled the covers over my body. I concentrated on my breathing and heart rate, knowing it'd keep my head too focused to think.

I was back in the white room, only this time I was trapped to the bed at my wrist and ankles. A man next to the head of the bed had a need poised above a tube protruding from my arm.

I screamed myself awake, flailing my arms and legs to make sure I wasn't tied down.

Dad appeared in the door. As he scooped me up in a hug, muttering soothing words, Jakes form eclipsed the light coming from the hall. He looked as freaked out as I felt.

"Make him go away, Daddy." I couldn't deal with him right now.

Jake's face turned to pain. "Please Syd."

I shook my head. "I don't want you here."

"Go downstairs, Jake." Dad's voice was firm.

His eyes locked on mine, I broke away. Jake sighed and turned away.

Dad kissed my forehead. "One of you stops having nightmares and the other starts. Want to talk about it?"

I buried my face in his shoulder. "IT's just stress. I went over to see Jake and we got in another fight. By the way you might want to call Harry and make sure I didn't freak anyone out. I went there to talk to Leah after."

"I'm sure it's nothing new. You should know though that when I got home Jake was out front…I'm pretty sure he was crying."

That made my heart ache, but I kept my mouth shut.

"I'll go talk to him," Dad sighed. "Want me to bring you something to eat?"

I shook my head. "No thanks."

He kissed my forehead. "Yell if you change your mind."

After Dad was downstairs I moved to sit by the railing outside my room. I don't know why I wanted to listen to their conversation, but my body moved on its own. Just a few minutes and I'll go back to bed, I told myself.

"She hates me." Jake sounded heart broken.

Dad chuckled. "No, she just thinks you're an asshole. Want to convince me you're not? Because I'm honestly clueless about what's going on."

A chair scraped across the floor followed by the creak of the old wood as someone sat down. "I don't know how, Charlie. I thought I was doing the right thing. Now, though, I realize I wasn't at all. I should have been honest with her from the start."

"Well now's your chance, son."

Jake looked over his shoulder to find me leaning against the door jam. Once again my body had moved without my knowledge or consent. I pushed my feet in to a pair of rain boots by the back door. "Come walk with me."

"Syd…" Dad stood, a question in his tone.

I gave a small grin. "No worries. Unlike Bella my pain turns to anger. It's more likely I'd hit him than dissolve in tears and get lost. But I do have my phone."

He nodded, worry still tightening the corners of his eyes. "Be safe."


	8. Chapter 8

Without making sure Jake followed, I went outside and to the line of trees. Somehow I knew he was following even though his feet made no noise. That was a new development. I sat on a fallen tree and looked up at him. "Let's hear it."

Jake licked his lips, looking suddenly nervous. "Hear what?"

"I don't know, maybe what the hell is going on? You show up and punch a guy for dancing with me. You told me I was slutty," that got a wince that I ignored. "You suddenly pretend to have mono, and I know you were faking because I didn't get it. You refused to talk to me for two weeks. And when I finally show up you try to run away. You got a tattoo, for crying out loud!"

He took a deep breath. "Do you trust me?"

"I trust the old, mellow you. This hot head you've become? No so much."

"I deserve that. The best way to explain it is to show you first, then I'll explain everything, I promise." Jake toed off his shoes and pulled off his shirt at the same time. I starred with wide eyes.

Jake had always been lean but now there were abs and pecs that would make a male model jealous. I swallowed as my eyes drank in all the golden skin. When his fingers popped the button on his jeans my eyes almost fell out of my face.

"Uh, Jake?"

The grin I was given was the same grin he'd been giving me since we were kids. "Relax, Syd, I'm keepin my shorts on. Just keep your eyes open."

I nodded, eyes tracing the thin line of hair that ran a trail from under his belly button to the waist band of his shorts.

"Eyes up here, Sydney."

I blushed. "Why are you stripping?"

"Because I'm running out of clothes." Jake took a few steps back, stretching his neck and shaking out his limbs. With a scream Jake was gone and a giant red brown wolf was in his place.

I fell backwards off the log. Scrambling to my knees I peered at the wolf, who made a sound that was all too similar to a chuckle. Dad had been warning us about bear attacks for weeks, then the other day Bella came home screaming about how the bears were really giant wolves. We'd been forbidden to go into the woods alone.

"The wolves…Sam's cult." My thoughts wouldn't leave my head in coherent sentences, but the wolf nodded it's massive head. "The night at Visions…is that when it started?"

Another nod of the head. The wolf, I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that it was Jake, took a deliberately slow step towards me. I started, not moving, from behind my log. Another step. Strangely, I wasn't afraid.

I climbed over the only obstacle between us. "So this is what's become of my Jacob." My hand reached out as I took a step. The hair on top was coarse, my fingers dug down to the softer fur beneath. A sound similar to a purr, but with more rumble, came from the wolf. Looking in his eyes I knew without a doubt this was Jake. "Why am I not afraid?"

Jake's reply was to nuzzle his nose against my neck.

"Can you change back? I need human Jake for a while."

He picked up his jeans with his teeth and retreated behind a tree. Moments later my Jake reappeared, still buttoning his jeans.

I straddled the log and waited for him to do the same so we could face each other. "That's why you stayed away from me, why you said you were dangerous."

Jake nodded. "Emily, Sam's fiancé, her scars didn't come from a bear. She was too close one day when Sam lost control. I couldn't live with myself if I hurt you."

"Instead you acted like a dick. Good plan."

His head fell. "It was the only thing I could think of. Embry kept urging me to just tell you, but Sam gave orders not to tell. And when Sam give an order we literally can't go against it."

I looked up from the patterns he was drawing on my palm with his finger. "Then how'd you find a loop hole?"

"There aren't any loopholes through it."

"But you just told me," I pointed out.

"You're gonna flip." Jake ran a hand through his hair.

My eyebrow went up. "I just watched you turn in to a wolf. Try me."

He blew out a huge sigh. "We can tell whoever we Imprint on."

"Imprint? What's that?"

"It means you're my best friend." A big, fake smile followed that lie.

I stared at him. "Wanna tell me what Imprinting really is now?"

He shook his head. "I don't think you're ready for that yet. But I promise I'll tell you eventually."

"Wait! Embry's a wolf? Is that why he stopped talking to us?" So I was a little slow on some things, it was a lot to process. But this had to be the reason.

"Yep. Although his mom thinks he's just going through a rebellious stage. She keeps grounding him and he keeps sneaking out."

"Can't Sam say something to his mom? Why's he always sneaking out anyway?"

Jake licked his lips, it was a habit he'd had since we were kids. It meant he was trying to figure out exactly how much he should tell me. "Sam's got us out patrolling."

"Elaborate. Now."

"I don't know how much I'm allowed to tell you, Syd." He sighed. "There's a vampire that keeps edging around our land."

"Why are you hunting a vampire? The Cullens left so there's no reason…you know about vampires?"

Jake looked suddenly angry, but I knew it wasn't directed at me. "The fucking Cullens are the reason we're like this." He explained the whys and hows. Growing up I'd been told the Quileute legends so parts of it I already knew. Stories about men turning to wolves and The Cold Ones.

"Just another reason to kick Edward in the nuts," I muttered.

He laughed and leaned forward to kiss my forehead. "If you wouldn't break your foot I would let you, but leave the Cullens to us."

I shook my head. "They aren't coming back."

"Have you been talking to them?" Jake almost seemed to vibrate with tension.

"Not since they left. Alice left a note. I found it that Saturday when we kissed." I reached out and put both hands on his shoulders. "Breathe, Jake."

At my touch he seemed to calm down. It was then I realized he hadn't put a shirt on. And he was hot.

"I think you might have a fever." I pressed a hand to his forehead and cheeks.

"It's a wolf thing. I run at a toasty one oh eight now. Are you cold?"

"No, my teeth are chattering because I want to shake loose a filling."

He laughed. "Turn around and scoot back." Jake laced our fingers and wrapped our arms around me when I did as told. I could now feel his body heat from my neck to my knees. "Better?"

I nodded, his chin on my shoulder. "When you age and get old and grey with your wolf age?"

Jake tensed. "I'm not going to age, Syd. Not until I can stop phasing."

I tried to turn around, but he wouldn't let me. "What do you mean you won't age? You're going to look like this forever? What happened to us being old crazy people and in rocking chairs? Now I'm going to be feeble and decayed alone?" I suddenly completely understood why Bella wanted to be a vampire so badly.

"Don't cry," he whispered, lips against the shell of my ear. "I'll always be with you, Syd."

"And what happens when I die? When you dad dies? And my dad and Bella? Then what?"

Jake's arms tightened. "Don't. Please don't make me think about it."

"You're going to have to think about it, Jake. One day _I will be dead_ and you're still going to be exactly as you are this moment."

Jake moved away so quickly I didn't know until I fell backwards. "Stop, Sydney." He was vibrating again.

I didn't want to stop. "No! if I have to think about it then you do too!" I knew I was being a selfish bitch.

"Sydney?" it was Bella's voice. "Why are you yelling? Dad sent me out to check on you." She stopped a few feet away, eyes dancing between a shirtless and obviously pissed off Jake and me.

"This is all your fucking fault," I spat the words before I could stop myself. "The Cullens would have left a lot sooner if you'd just stayed away from Edward when he told you to. And now Jake has to watch everyone he loves and everyone he knows die!"

At the mention of his name it looked like she'd been punched in the gut. But like I told Dad: my pain turns to anger. "I…"

"Now Jake and Embry and a bunch of other _children_ change to wolves in order to protect _us_ from vampires."

"Syd," Jake's warm hand on my arm was strangely soothing. "It's not her fault. And this won't change anything."

I let him pull me back against his chest, arms going around me. "I know. But everything has changed."

"And you've never done well with change," he murmured against my ear. "Go put on some real pants, we're going to Sam and Emily's place." 

But I like my yoga pants. I sighed and did as told, grabbing Bella's hand on the way past. "There are some things you need to know."

So I explained everything I could while I changed in to jeans. My sister took it well enough. When your most recent ex-boyfriend is a vampire I guess it's not a total shock to find out your friend is a werewolf. She's good with weird.


	9. Chapter 9

Pulling up in front of the blue house I was greeted by multiple heads poking out of the door. One of those had me running full out.

I tackled Embry in a hug. "Don't you ever do that to me again!"

Em laughed. "Sorry, Syd, but I couldn't tell you. That's why I kept telling Jake to go see you. I figured he'd imprint and it wouldn't be a problem anymore. That and we wouldn't have to listen to him whine about you anymore."

"Yeah, yeah, Jake explained it." I looked towards the house to find everyone starring at us. I knew about Sam, Jared, and Paul but there was someone Jake had forgotten to mention. "Leah?"

She gave me a small smile. "Hey girl."

"You too? So when I went over there this morning..."

Leah shook her head. "Oh, I had every intention of giving Sam hell for not letting Jake tell you. But when I phased I found out he'd imprinted. Problem solved."

Jake's hand slid in to mine, drawing my attention up to his smile.

Emily stepped over to our little group. "You probably have questions, Sydney. Come inside and get something to eat while there's still food left."

A large part of me still wanted to hate her for taking Sam from Leah, but there was a small Jake sounding voice in my head telling me that Sam's imprinting changed things.

"We'll be in in a minute." Jake tugged on my hand to lead me towards the tree line.

I put my head on his chest, arms around his waist. I could hear his heart beating, it was calming.

"You doing alright? If it gets to be too much all you have to do is tell me." His fingers trailed up and down my back in rhythm.

"I'm okay."

"Syd, are you sure you're alright with the fact that I turn in to a giant dog?"

I smiled. "Pretty sure it hasn't all sunk in yet. And honestly, you being a wolf isn't all that bad. You don't kill people."

Jake let his head rest atop mine. "No, but I do kill vampires. Last I checked you were fond of most of the Cullens."

"They have to break the treaty, right? And the Cullens don't...eat people." I looked up at him. "Can we go inside?"

"You're not even going to try to be subtle about not wanting to talk about this." It was a statement, not a question.

I pushed up on my toes and kissed the tip of his nose. "Nope. Come on, I'm hungry and I know you are too."

Jake wanted to say something else, I could tell by the look in his eyes. But he let me pull him inside the house anyway.

The kitchen table looked like something from a tiny children's play set with everyone around it. When did they all grow an extra few inches and all that muscle? Oh wait, wolves.

I sat between Embry and Jake, smacking hands when one of them would try to take food off my plate. Paul got the biggest kick out of that for some reason. I always knew who he was growing up, but he seemed like an asshole so I kept my distance. He still kinda was an asshole, but not as bad as I thought.

Leah, as usual, kept an eye on me. She was still like my big sister, being a wolf didn't change that. In fact, it almost made her more protective. If someone picked on me she, and Jake, would leap to my defense. Embry, as usual, just laughed about it. He knows better than anyone that I can hold my own.

After dinner we piled around a bonfire Sam built in the side yard. It was hoodie weather during the day, so that meant it was downright cold at night. I snuggled in to the side of the one hundred and eight degree space heater known as Jacob Black.

"So, Sydney, now that Jake's imprinted on you, when are you going to start breeding the next generation of wolves?" Paul sneered across the fire at me.

Beside me Jake tensed. I just smiled and cocked my head to the side. "Jealous?"

His eyebrow went up. "I could probably teach your boy a thing or two."

"I know Jake's good lookin, Paul, but he doesn't swing that way." On the inside I was flipping out. Babies?! Is that what imprinting really was? That would explain why Jake didn't want to tell me.

"Ignore him," Jake whispered in my ear. "I do."

Emily locked eyes with me for a moment. "Sydney, would you mind helping make some hot chocolate?"

I nodded, leaving the warmth of Jacob's arms, and followed her inside.

She hoisted herself up on to the counter and motioned for me to do the same. I shook my head and leaned across from her. "You don't have to."

My eyebrow went up. "Don't have to do what?"

"Have children with Jake. That's not what imprinting means."

"Elaborate."

She smiled. "He does that too, you know. I'd always wondered where he got it from. Jake will always be exactly what you need him to be. I don't know how to explain it so you'll understand, Syd."

"It's like gravity," Jacob's voice came from the doorway. "Everything shifts and it's not gravity holding me to the earth anymore...it's you."

I licked my lips, trying to figure out how to phrase my words. "Gravity might be a little too intense for me, Jake. We're only sixteen."

He shrugged, a forced smile showing teeth. "Nah, you can handle it. I can be whatever you need me to be. Best friend, brother, boyfriend. It's all up to you, Syd."

I sighed. "I think right now I just need to get some sleep."

"You can crash at my house," he volunteered.

"Not tonight." I slid past him and out the door, calling my goodbyes to Embry and Leah on the way to the Impala.

Gravity was a heavy burden to have on your shoulders. What if I didn't want to be imprinted on? Did I have a choice? I loved Jake, he was my best friend, but this might be too much.

"Are you contemplating the origins of the universe?" Dad's voice made me jump. I hadn't even realized he was downstairs.

I gave him a small smile. "I just have a lot on my mind."

"Want to talk it out, get a different perspective?"

"I don't even understand it enough to talk about it."

"Jacob?"

"Jacob," from my lips it almost sounded like a curse.


	10. Chapter 10

That night I woke up screaming for my mom. Not Renee, but _my mom_. With her golden skin, blue eyes and blonde hair. I could hear her crying and talking to me, pleading for me to wake up. Only in my dream I couldn't move my mouth, or any other part of my body for that matter.

I'd forgotten about her. With everything that had been going on I'd pushed her memory to the back of my mind along with the rest of my real life. For a while I'd let myself believe this was my real world.

Charlie and Bella both came running in the same time Jake swung in through the window.

Even my wolf's warmth wasn't enough to soothe me. I cried for my mom. When Charlie offered to call Renee I let him. She crooned soothing words into the phone, but it didn't help. Nothing would. This was my rabbit hole. And I was stuck.

Eventually my sobs calmed and I starred dry eyed at my work table and dress form. Jake held me silently while Bella clutched my hand and Charlie stepped out of the room to talk to Renee.

I had to accept I would never see my mom again. And if I was going to spend the rest of my life inside a book, I might as well make the best of it.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled.

Jake's arms tightened around me and he whispered in my ear that it was just a bad dream and I wouldn't have been able to control it. Bella just nodded along. I nodded too since it felt like what they wanted me to do.

"Can you stay?" I tilted my head to look at Jake. "Inside though."

He smiled and kissed my cheek. "Of course. I wasn't planning on leaving anyway."

I nodded again, not knowing what else to do. Bella kissed my forehead and assured me she'd tell Charlie that Jacob was staying. I told her to leave the door open so he'd have one less thing to worry about.

Kicking all the blankets off the bed I pulled the sheet over both of us. His body heat was enough to keep me warm, but I always feel like I need to have something cover me – no matter how hot it gets.

"Wanna talk about it?" Jake whispered in the dark. "Is it my fault?"

I shook my head. "It's not your fault, promise. There was nothing wolf or giant dog related. I dreamed I'd never see my mom again."

"I'm sure your dad will let us go see her this summer. Well, maybe I shouldn't go. I have the feeling airports would make me phase and that's probably somehow a terrorist act."

Laughter bubbled out of my throat. "It would be funny though, think of all the people flipping out." I pulled his arm around me and intertwined our fingers. "Night, Jake."

He kissed the back of my neck. "Good night, Syd."

My brain refused to let me fall back in to any form of sleep. I could tell by Jake's breathing that he was still awake too, but he stayed quiet. I was grateful since I wasn't sure I could keep my mouth shut about my rabbit hole. They thought they were real. It felt real. Maybe I'm crazy. Although if my delusional brain wants me to snuggle with Jacob Black then who am I to contradict it?

Dad offered to let me stay home come Monday, but I was tired of sitting around the house while the three of them watched me like I was going to crumble to bits.

School was a welcomed sight. No one here knew about my nightmare. No one would treat me like glass. Although Jake did insist on riding with me to school. Thankfully my friends didn't find it too strange when he pecked my forehead then started walking towards the woods. People know us Swan sisters have strange men.

Mase threw an arm around my shoulders and nodded towards the school. And that was it. They wouldn't ask about the bags under my blood shot eyes or why I didn't have any makeup on or why I was wearing baggy jeans and a hoodie instead of my usual fitted clothes. These three were what kept me sane.

After a few classes, however, I'd wished I had stayed home. My head was throbbing in a way that felt like it was cracking to pieces.

Kelsey placed a soft hand on my arm. "Syd, are you okay?"

I shook my head. "Call Jake. He has my phone." My fingers pressed to my scalp, trying to massage out the pain. When that didn't work I pulled my hair. It seemed to help for a moment before the pain slammed back tenfold.

"_Sydney, come on, we have to go to the airport to get your sister!" Dad yelled from the bottom of the stairs. I was excited to see Bella again, but a part of me – a really selfish part of me – didn't like how ecstatic he was about it._

_Nonetheless I pushed my feet in boots, grabbed a hoodie, and ran down the stairs. I'd had day dreams of what it would be like to have a sister around all the time again. Besides Jacob she was my best friend when I was little. We told each other everything and did everything together. I knew it wouldn't be the same, but a part of me still hoped._

_We took the cruiser. Dad didn't think Bella would be too thrilled about being picked up in a lime green Impala. I thought it was a better option than a police car._

_Bella looked less than thrilled when we pulled up outside the small Port Angeles airport. She was clutching a small cactus in a terracotta pot._

"_Told you we should have taken the Impala," I smiled up at Dad as he picked up her bags. She'd only brought a purse and a backpack on the plane, the rest had been dropped off by FedEx yesterday morning. Dad didn't try to hug her, but Bella was projecting some seriously awkward body language. I climbed in the back and we set off for home. Most of the ride was in silence. Dad tried to make some conversation, but where he'd always found it easy to talk to me he wasn't having the same luck with my sister._

_Once home Dad carried her bags up to her room while explaining that he'd cleared a few shelves in the bathroom off for her. She didn't seem too happy about having only one bathroom. I felt sorrier for Dad having to share with two teenage girls._

_Bella and I were only ten months apart, but it was enough to put us in different grades. When she was reminded of this her little enthusiasm dropped even more._

_Billy and Jacob were coming over for dinner. Having had a crush on her since we'd all made mud pies in the yard, Jake was extra happy about Bella coming home._

_When they pulled up in separate trucks Dad and I ran out. He to help Billy get out and me to wrap myself in the smile that Jacob always had. Being around Bella's gloom was starting to make mine slip._

_Jacob's grin was all teeth when I met him in the yard. "Hey, Syd."_

_I slid an arm around his waist in a loose hug, letting my head to fall to his shoulder. "Hi Jake."_

"_You're tired." His arm threaded around me to return my hug. "Were you up late working again?"_

"_Guilty. But I'm done with that order. So tonight I can sleep." I'd been working on a huge custom order for a shop in Seattle who liked to feature local designers. I had to make close to one hundred different jewelry pieces and a few dozen different fabric accessories and a few dresses._

"_Does that mean you'll finally come over this weekend?" He looked hopeful. I usually spent my Saturdays at the rez with the boys. "Those teeth latching on to the lip means no, Sydney Swan."_

"_There's a show Friday night, just a few ska bands. Come with?"_

_Jake's nose wrinkled. "If you really want me to." He must really miss me. He never liked going to ska shows._

_I chuckled. "It's cool. The show won't be over super late so I'll just drive down to the rez and stay Friday night."_

_Dad yelled for Bella to come outside where he presented her with the old red truck Jacob had spent many a weekend fixing with me keeping him company in the garage._

_At first she didn't seem to understand what was going on. Then I saw the first smile since we picked her up grace her lips._

_The next morning I got up before Dad so I knew he'd at least have one hot meal and made eggs and bacon for breakfast. I hollered at the base of the stairs to let them know the food was ready. Dad came down and ate with me. Bella said she wasn't hungry and got in the shower._

_I was meeting my friends before class started so I left before she was ready. But no one missed the truck's back fire when she pulled in the lot. I heard a few snickers but I ignored it and made a point to yell a greeting to her from a few rows over. Bella looked embarrassed and waved quickly before heading up to the building._

"_Your sister doesn't seem very happy to be here," Kelsey mused as she watched her disappear._

"_She's not. Mom's completely different than Dad. Not to mention she's been in Arizona." A part of me felt bad for her. Rainy old Forks was a big change, not to mention since we were kids she'd lived with Mom._

"_You know…" Mason leaned against the Impala. "You are complete opposites."_

_I nodded. "Pretty much." _

_We were a small town, so therefore we had a small school where everyone at least knew who everyone else was. I was one of the more well-known just because I've never met a stranger. Attention was something I liked although I didn't have to be in the center of it._

_The school was all atwitter about the new girl. We don't get new students in Forks often. The last to join us were the Cullens. I'd like to say that now that my sister was in town the Cullen kids would be getting less attention, but I don't think those five would ever not be the talk of the school. All five were gorgeous. All five were adopted. That's why I didn't really think it was a problem that two pairs of them were dating._

_They were all super nice the few times that I'd spoken to them. Alice was the only one I'd truly consider a friend. Well maybe Emmett too, but that's only because he'd been telling Jasper a perverted joke one day and I'd overheard, and laughed for a good ten minutes. Ever since he's made an effort to say hi. Alice, however, had turned out to be a serious asset and sometimes muse when it came to my jewelry and clothing designs._

_I noticed Bella, along with everyone else in the cafeteria, look up when the Cullens walked in – well Alice danced her way across the floor with a very uncomfortable looking Jasper. She was sitting with a few of the kids in her grade I knew, but wasn't really friends with. I'm glad she'd made some friends, though. I was worried she'd be eating lunch alone and I'd have to recuse her._

_Alice and Emmett both smiled at me, but that was the only contact they had with anybody. Edward trailed in a beat after everyone else. I saw him smirk as he walked past Jessica Stanley. When he took his seat with his siblings he gave my sister a glance. Maybe Edward wasn't gay. Although I'm pretty sure I was the only female in the building who thought he might be._

_A tinkling laugh sounded from Alice's side of the table and she winked at me. I had no clue why, but I smiled back anyway._


End file.
